apologetically dressed in the best

Thursday, January 28, 2010

who i relate to more shifts with how i am treated.

"a kid is like a puppy, you kick one around enough it starts to feel like its done something wrong." one meal today and im still not hungry again. did my body suddenly forget i need food to live or are other things just on my mind? i get that whole "every time you go away you take a piece of me with you" thing, but do people continually feel like something is missing or do they get over it and become stronger? i sit here trying to process what just happened and there is no logical explanation for it. i could scrape every corner of my brain or even yours for some sort of reason- something to close my eyes easier at night besides magnolia bark and tylenol pm- but i know there isnt a reason that has anything to do with me. that alone makes things easier and more complicated at the same time. do i play the victim or innocent bystander caught in a crossfire? i feel empty and not just my wallet. but that is a big part of it. if this was some sort of way to liberate yourself all you freed yourself from was the only person that was dumb enough to care about you. money doesnt grow on trees but fools with money seem to keep falling out of them. tv shows shouldnt feel like a punch to the gut. neither should friendships. unless you are tyler durden. im watching what i say, a few cheap digs might leave you six feet under. everything happens for a reason, so if im quiet for a while- im trying to find it. but thank you. i mean it. its a lot easier to hate you than like you. its also a lot cheaper, too.