yeah maybe.

i have pretty much decided my life right now is punishment for my life before. but okay? i get it? really. you can stop at any time and give me everything back unscathed. i'll actually be thankful for it all now instead of taking it for granted. anything has got to be better than meaning nothing to your everything. this is a one person convention and they are partying all over your spine. used to be on cloud nine but now i've got no rope for that kind of extension. like reading what other people write hoping for a mention- to be remembered the only needed pension. like throwing out dna hoping for no tension. like sitting trapped in a cellar waiting for attention. no chains but no hope. you could free yourself but you've been up there so long you forget how to get out. it would be nice to smile and remember you still can. it would be nice to break out a hammer thick enough for a wall built for one. it seems i'm the only one that can't find a way through it. my brain is someone else's and i'm just doing what i can until i get my mind back. it may be a while. pretty much it's just pages and mixed data awaiting file. can i love with what is left to love, but its not a lot. returned to sender but it back i never got. for now my fingers are bruised and bleeding, cut and retreating and life waits right outside that window. at least it waits, but who knows if we have that long. everyone else gave up hope on me, i guess to get past this all would be pretty dope of me.