more people are jealous of us than you realize, and we're not even an "us"

overheard. the good days are getting shorter and the bad days are dragging on longer. the ability to control how i feel is also getting weaker, along with my heart. things that make me happy are as simple as silver coins from before 1965 and as complicated as you. funny how the first to speak up is the only one that matters. i took the wrong approach by not having one at all. oh well. funny how the things that keep me hanging on are also pushing me over the edge. i like how i entertain my time thinking about how i'd handle things differently that aren't in my hands in the first place. you will be married with kids and i will become an image that only enters your mind on the tv or the book shelves. a household name without a household. without a hold. i'll lose my mind to share it with everyone else. yes, i am sure someday someone will be quoting me, reading my writing to get through a tough time like i once went through before- but will it really matter if i don't have anyone loving me, if i don't have anyone to get me through the tough times i have now?

yeah, it really will. and that's the only reason i still exist through everything telling me i shouldn't.