desperate and seperate are cousins

kinda like the way love and insanity are.
i'm only happy because you won't stay happy for long.
and i care enough about myself for once to not care if you do too.
i'm becoming the type of person to live being happy just because someone else isn't.
i never wanted to be.
you can get whoever you can to fill my shoes but they won't be able to pick up my pen.
and when you realize this you'll never be close to really happy again.
maybe it's not the best way to say it but i mean it in the worst way.
or maybe it's the worst way to say it in the best way.
i can't help but watch every plan you make to move forward really be steps backwards.
i only go out of my mind for inspiration.
i look at houses like scenes from a book.
i have one incredible idea in it no one else could ever touch.
if my imagination was real i'd hug it.
i want each chapter to be like a seperate story.
this is either gonna be a hit or shit.
all around me everyone either falls together or falls apart.
it isn't natural at all but you're tricked into believing it is by the last page.
and i never thank you for it but every little "are you okay" makes me that much closer to actually being okay.
have you ever said that to me? then you keep me going.
my friends are better than lovers because they actually love.

ps- don't worry,
i'm only not upset i lost you because i never had you in the first place.