"take your steps away from me"

funny where people leave their priorities laying around when they don't keep them in order.
and i get to literally trip over them.
fuck law i'm ruled by jealousy and insecurity.
i look sick under fluorescent lights
but fine in the "living" room,
like some fucked form of irony.
with thicker skin than our ties,
i'll forget the time i wasted- in time.
you who once gave me confidence
now remain the single source draining me of it all.
everytime you let someone else take my place they take a little of my confidence too.
i'll delete everything that reminds me of you,
i just wish i could delete the memories as easily.
it all goes away-
i think it learned that from you.
and if i can learn anything from you myself-
it's that everyone is replacable.
bodies all feel the same when the lights are out-
and love is just a 4 letter word followed by "for now" whenever you say it.
everyone in line pulls a number waiting to love you.
and mine has been up for a while now.
i'm just kind of a slow learner.
you'd think i'd notice you calling other people up-
but when my back was turned i was too busy thinking how lucky i was.
was.
you made your bed and you'll "lie" in it too.
should have never thought you'd ever stop..

"the time i would spend,
with pictures i would not send.
i watched you go from left to right,
i followed you all night.across my blinds.

you'll change your mind come monday,
and turn your back on me.
you'll take your steps away with hesitance,
take your steps away from me.

i'm making my peace,
making it with distance.
maybe that's a big mistake,
you know i'm thinking of you.
i miss you.

you'll change your mind come monday,
and turn your back on me.
you'll take your steps away with hesitance,
you'll take your steps away from me.."

..for once, i've got nothing left to say to you.
i'm not sure how i feel about that.
all that's missing are notebooks that used to be empty,
they're full of ink now,
eyes that used to be full of life,
they're easily unimpressed and rolling,
duller than the excuses you'll have for all this in the morning.
all that's missing are pages between the start and end of the calender,
what do i turn to.
it's just this is the end to something that never really got to start.