taking lessons on saving money from the frequent casino gambler

everything that happens in life is just a puzzle when you think about it. eventually all the pieces are found and fit- sometimes it takes weeks, months, years to find them all.. but eventually all the lies and truths of any event in your life will be uncovered and laid out in front of you. only then can you really move on from one puzzle to the next one. if a puzzle is finished but has a piece missing it will bug you until you find that piece or figure out what ever even happened to it, until it all makes sense and you can see the picture perfectly. then you can put it back in the box or the back of your mind. you can forget about it. sometimes you will wish you didn't have to have all the pieces and know what they built, or look back at the puzzle picture once it's completed. it rarely ever looks like it does on the box anyway and it's disappointing. unfortunately life is exactly like that.

"a lie keeps growing and growing until it's as clear as the nose on your face."

some of us rework our gameplan when we realize we are not winning,
others just keep butting heads with brick walls using the same strategy that digs them deeper in the ground.

"i was this close to saying how i felt, instead i swallowed it for dinner."
besides since when did progress ever mean the same thing as regress?
"i ate the words because it's all i can keep down anymore."

take the weight off your shoulders before it becomes a pain in the neck.


"no man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar"

the shark is not only hunting but watched as well, and maybe eventually you will see its better to swim in your own waters and leave me be in mine.
animals are caged seperately at the zoo for a reason sometimes, i wonder if this is it.

life is a lot of becoming more understanding and clear headed- just not to the point anyone can see what you are thinking.

sorry for the cobwebs where emotions used to be that are growing since i left-
but its not my place to clear them and its not my place to ever go back to..
someday someone will.

sympathy to anyone that needs it, no one in particular. we can all relate:

sometimes its hard to sleep at night, i know, but think of it this way-
there was life before me so there will be life after me.
there were good times before me so there will be good times after me.
you smiled before me so you'll smile again someday even with me gone.
sincerely, i wish you the best of luck.


"only enemies speak the truth. friends and lovers lie endlessly"

goodnight.

sometimes there is someone good who can make you a good person- without changing you at all

air has never felt so crisp and fresh.
i can feel it going straight through to the suffering.
sun has kissed my skin and youre just bitter enough to think thats all that has.
the air is so calm and cool that we should all feel even a little bit jealous.
letting go and getting rid of the cobwebs that have collected in corners of my brain i felt were best shut off.
back in the skin hung up months ago and stored while we were waiting for me to want to be me again-
then put your secrets there instead.
brainwashed clean with (a new) era.
slowly the words are becoming activists tearing down the writers block put up around my thoughts.
you werent ready for the monsters and chaos set free when you put the key back in the lock and let it all loose.
at first i didnt think i was either.
but all in all everything is as it should be.
somewhere my complaints are filing a complaint that there arent enough of them anymore.
finally, i realized i know somebody that really knows me and they still want to hang around.
a smile has not left my face in a week.